How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
