dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Still dying that you shit outside
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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