Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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