Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
