I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
