bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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