you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
