Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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