Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
