Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
