My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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