why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize