Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
