found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
