I'm really into asian looking animals
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize