i need an iv and a liver transplant
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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