I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
