My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
