I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
