The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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