like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
