Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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