Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
