I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Watching her eat just hurts me
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize