Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
