standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I lost the right to judge tonight
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