It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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