Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
