At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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