He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
