i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
