Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
