I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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