It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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