Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
