i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You pole danced in your parka.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
