Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize