Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
