if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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