My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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