Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
