What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
