Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
