Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
