Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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