i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
