I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
