Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize