i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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