Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
