I bet he comes in French.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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