You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
what the fuck happened to the tacos
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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