will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
