Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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