i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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