I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just threw up on my dentist
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Will exercising make me less horny?
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