Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
