It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i permit you to call me
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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