lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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