You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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