No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
