ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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