Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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