Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
