I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
