yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm bleeding and have questions
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize